Chopstick Etiquette And Other Tips
Dec 6th, 2007 by admin
Chopstick Etiquette:
There is plenty of advice online on how to hold chopsticks, so I won’t bother with that (I actually don’t do this properly and still get told off by my dad, even as an adult!). Try not to cross them like I do, and hold them about two thirds of the way up, to get a better grip. They won’t work if you hold them too far down. And practise picking up peas at home!
Whatever you do, don’t spear food with chopsticks. And don’t stick them upright in your bowl of rice as this resembles incense sticks used to honour ancestors. When you’re not using the chopsticks, place them on the chopstick rest or if there isn’t one, then side by side neatly on your plate.
More importantly, chopsticks are for your personal use, for transferring food from your bowl or plate to your mouth. Rice can be eaten by holding the bowl up to your mouth and using a quick shovelling movement with the chopsticks, Chinese style. I make a bit of a mess when doing this, so I like to pick the rice up with my chopsticks. It’s easier to do this when the rice becomes stickier with sauce from the food.
It’s important to leave a clean bowl with no grains of rice remaining. Parents always tell their children they will marry someone with pockmarks if they leave rice in their bowl, as a way to get them to finish their food. I still bear this in mind when I’m finishing up my rice!
Chinese people also don’t eat rice off a plate with just chopsticks, for example when served a one dish meal like roast duck on rice. It’s not possible to do this without making a horrible mess and leaving a lot of rice behind, so use the chopsticks to push the rice and other food onto the Chinese spoon and then eat from the spoon.
Don’t add soy sauce to your rice! No one will say anything, but Chinese people just don’t do this. Rice is meant to taste fresh but bland, as an accompaniment to the stronger flavours of the dishes.
And if you’re eating food that someone has cooked for you, then please don’t ask for soy sauce, chilli sauce or extra seasoning unless your host has offered this to you. By doing this, you’re implying that the food needs more seasoning or does not taste very good…
When transferring food from the shared dishes to your personal bowl, use the spoon or chopsticks for general use provided with each dish. Many Chinese people use spoons for serving, so it’s really common and you make less mess this way. It’s frowned upon to suck or lick your chopsticks, then help yourself to more food from the shared dishes. This is unhygienic and will put fellow diners off their food. Chinese people are really particular about food hygiene.
You should also serve yourself from the part of the dish directly in front of you. It’s not considered good manners to pick out the best bits from any area of the dish apart from the section directly facing you. And don’t turn the dish so that the good bits are facing you! However, if someone politely serves you a nice piece of food, then that’s great!
If you’re sitting next to an elderly Chinese person or child, they will get given the best bits as a matter of course. I’d quietly move and sit next to someone else…
Don’t overdo it by adding so much food to your bowl that you can’t see or eat the rice underneath. ‘Hoarding’ is considered bad manners. It’s more polite to serve yourself smaller portions, more frequently. Finally, if there’s some food left in a shared dish, but not quite enough for two helpings, then do ask if anyone wants it before finishing it off. Or someone might offer it to you.
A note on shared dipping sauces. Watch what other Chinese people do. Stick to the correct dipping sauce for each dish and don’t mix them with other dishes as the flavours will be spoiled. And don’t dip, take a bite out of your piece of food, then dip again. A quick dunk should be more than enough, rather than drowning the piece of food with sauce, but if you really want more sauce, use a teaspoon to add some to your food.
That’s about it really. The most important thing is to enjoy yourself at the dinner table and not worry so much about making mistakes. The tips above are just to give you a little bit of confidence if you’re feeling uncertain about things, but learning from personal experience is the best way!
Let me know if you have other tips or suggestions! I’d love to hear them.
Check out the Useful Info page for more informational posts on Chinese food.
[...] has a lot of fascinating posts already, including highly useful posts on Chopstick Etiquette, and How to Eat Xiao Long Bao or Shanghai Dumplings (those delectable steamed morsels of thin dough [...]
I too don’t hold my chopsticks properly, I hold them like a pen and get tut-tuts from my mother! I was told recently though that many Malaysians do the same.
Lizzie – like a pen, tut tut indeed! My crime is crossing them when reaching out to pick food from shared plates. I think whatever works best, really…
Helen Yuet Ling
“It’s really frowned upon to suck or lick your chopsticks, then help yourself to more food from the shared dishes!”
Just a question on this – does it also apply if you are helping yourself to distinct individual portions on a shared serving plate, such as dim sum or spare ribs? In these cases, I have been using my personal chopsticks but they do not touch other portions at all. Is this still a no-no? For other dishes, I use the serving spoon, of course.
admin Reply:
July 12th, 2009 at 7:22 pm
I think as long as your chopsticks don’t touch other portions, it’s fine. There are people like my aunt who will use general (serving) chopsticks for absolutely everything, but she’s quite extreme when it comes to hygiene.
Thanks, that’s good to know…
I know I don’t have all the etiquette down pat – for example I just cannot remove the bone from a small piece of rib from my mouth with chop sticks, so I’ll use a spoon if I have one, or discreetly use my fingers otherwise, trying to find a moment when my dining companions are looking away!
admin Reply:
July 14th, 2009 at 4:47 pm
OK, not every person cares about etiquette! I’ve seen bones and what-not being spat out onto plastic tablecloths or on to plates, so I’m not saying that every Chinese person has table manners. I try to use my chopsticks for bones, but a fish bone is really hard, and so I use my fingers!
My father always tell me it’s very unappropiate to pick up the rice instead of shovelling it into your mouth. It’s something to do with the fact that when you pick up the rice, you’ll have to put your chopsticks in your mouth, hence ‘licking’ it.
admin Reply:
July 27th, 2009 at 5:41 pm
Fleur – I haven’t done the shovelling for a long time! I think however you eat your rice, the chopsticks are going to be covered with your saliva. Which is why the use of general serving chopsticks is so important if you’re into personal hygiene…
Helen Yuet Ling
Hi,
My Chinese wife says:
Don’t leave your chopsticks laid across your bowl. This is very very bad.
Don’t leave chopsticks sticking out of a bowl. Also bad.
Don’t serve fish all laying the same way ie head head head, tail tail tail, but alternate them.
Oh. And don’t shave or wash on New Years. Bad luck.
admin Reply:
July 30th, 2009 at 6:23 pm
John – thanks for your tips…
We ate in a Chinese restaurant in SF – are there appetizers or are all foods ordered and then shared?
ron – I’m not sure I understand your question. If you’ve already eaten at this Chinese restaurant, you probably know the answer already? You can order a selection of starters to share, then share a selection of main dishes. Chinese food is all about sharing, whichever course you’re eating.
Helen Yuet Ling